THE BABY BOOMER DEATH CLOCK
wtf are bootstraps?
Counting down to a post-Boomer world.
The Situation Room
Wealth Control
Boomers control 67% of the wealth, 63% of the Senate, and 100% of the conversations at Thanksgiving.
Housing Crisis
Starter home (1970): $17k. Your rent (2025): $2,300/month. You pay that in brunch, apparently.
Generational Handoff
Projected Boomer extinction: 2045. Please recycle your dad. Batteries not included, emotions not processed.
Fiscal Necromancy Timeline
Track the rise and imminent statistical decline of America's most opinionated generation. From Woodstock to wondering why you have so many participation trophies.
Baby Boom Begins
The greatest generation creates the loudest generation.
Last Boomers Born
The gold rush of cheap houses and college tuition begins to close.
The Housing Speedrun
You worked at RadioShack and bought a 3-bedroom. I deliver tacos by drone.
Economic Policies
This bumper sticker brought to you by a Chinese decal factory and your uncle's rage.
You Are Here
Your inheritance is scheduled for Q4. Of the climate collapse.
Demographic Transition
Split-flap your way to closure. Housing market immediately drops 70% (we wish).
Meme-Based Mourning Tools
Emotional data journalism for people held together by memes and iced coffee. We're not trying to fix the system — we're just here to dress up the end times.
Housing Time Machine
Enter your income and zip code to see what kind of house you could've afforded in 1970. Then go scream into a tote bag.
Devastate MeInheritance Estimator
Projected inheritance: $34,000. Adjusted for inflation: a lukewarm can of LaCroix and a Sears gift card.
Begin GrievingExtinction Alerts™
Like a newsletter, but with less hope and more memes.